<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Supernova by orphan_account</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24885055">Supernova</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Major Illness, Medical Procedures</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 00:39:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,347</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24885055</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Stars die when they exhaust their energy. This pegged the question in Akaashi mind-- what series of causes and effects could’ve possibly tricked the universe into saying there was no more light for Bokuto to shine?</p><p>Was Bokuto too loud? Too happy? Too confidently perfect in his actions, words, and mannerisms? Too genuine?</p><p>Or was it perhaps Akaashi that caused Bokuto to shine so brightly that he burned out?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Supernova</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>major angst, sorry lol </p><p>based off <a href="https://youtu.be/9t7HRAGHMTA">this</a> song</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“How’s Koutarou?”</p><p>“What do you think, <em>Tetsurou?</em>”</p><p>“I was just asking... Are you going to be alright by yourself if I leave you here?”</p><p>Here was a location. A bar, to be specific.</p><p>“Yes. Of course I’m going to be alright. I’m not a fucking child.”</p><p>“Well, maybe I should just call Konoha in case...”</p><p>Akaashi tightened his grip on his drink. The tips of his fingers were slightly sweaty, and they smudged the glass uncomfortably. “You don’t need to call Konoha, I’m more than capable of taking care of myself-“</p><p>His protests fell upon deaf ears, but they both knew it was a pointless effort from the beginning. Kuroo’s phone <em>ding</em>ed with the finality of a message being sent. Kuroo himself let his phone rest upon the bar counter, and finished his own drink, tilting his head back and he swallowing the final sip of liquor, before looking back at Akaashi. He was positioned to watch over Akaashi— <em>“make sure he didn’t do anything he’d regret”</em>— for the past hour and a half. </p><p>A number of their friends have been scheduling rotations amongst themselves to keep an eye on Akaashi. <em>Let us take care of you! We know Bokuto is sick, but that doesn’t mean you have to let yourself get sick too.</em></p><p>Bokuto wasn’t <em>sick.</em> Bokuto was <em>dying.</em></p><p>Spare Akaashi the sympathy if he was a little down in the dumps from that.</p><p>Everything was fine, truly well and fine as a life with Bokuto in it should be, until a sudden collapse changed all that. Akaashi had rushed Bokuto to the hospital. Tests were done by the dozen, and eventually they all drawled upon the same conclusion.</p><p>Bokuto was deathly ill.</p><p>He needed a heart transplant to live, but here’s the real kicker— Bokuto is a rare blood type, rendering any chance of a transplant being made in time virtually impossible.</p><p>Everyone loves to remind Akaashi that there is <em>still hope! Stay optimistic, buddy!</em></p><p>How are you supposed optimistic when witnessing the death of a star? </p><p>Bokuto was nothing if not a star, shining bright and high in the sky with genuine optimism (not the shitty kind everyone is forcing upon themselves and himself the past couple of days). Stars die when they exhaust their energy. This pegged the question in Akaashi mind-- what series of causes and effects could’ve possibly tricked the universe into saying there was no more light for Bokuto to shine?</p><p>Was Bokuto too loud? Too happy? Too confidently perfect in his actions, words, and mannerisms? Too genuine?</p><p>Or was it perhaps Akaashi that caused Bokuto to shine so brightly that he burned out?</p><p>Akaashi didn’t speak these thoughts out loud (Kaori had been playing emotional support expert to him these past few days, if he did speak these thoughts than surely she would run wild with google-funded analysis of what he was feeling.) </p><p>But Akaashi still had to wonder-- Did his love burn Bokuto up too quickly, too intensely, that the only option left was to become a supernova and explode? </p><p>If only the brightest of stars died dramatically, was this Akaashi’s fault for loving Bokuto too hard?</p><p><em>Does it matter?</em> Akaashi thought bitterly. <em>In what world have the protagonists ever been promised a happy ending?</em></p><p>“I have work early tomorrow morning.” Kuroo states, pressing the heel of his hand into his eyebrow line. “Konoha is on his way to drive you home.”</p><p>Akaashi <em>hmm</em>ed his response.</p><p>Kuroo sighed and pushed his chair out. “Is it cool if I head out now? Konoha should only be five minutes away…”</p><p>“Yeah, it’s- I’m fine. You can go.”</p><p>“Okay…” </p><p>Kuroo made his way out of the grimy bar. He didn’t really want to come in the first place, but Akaashi was adamant on needing a drink, so Kuroo conceded. </p><p>Everyone was <em>very</em> concerned lately with Akaashi’s newfound appreciation of pessimism and nihilism. God forbid you became a bit bitter from having to watch the love of your life die.</p><p>Akaashi pulled his phone out from his back pocket to distract himself from his thoughts with while he waited for Konoha to show up. </p><p>When his phone screen lit up, artificial light temporarily blinding dull eyes, Akaashi saw, amongst other notifications, an email. Hazily entering his password, he went ahead and read the email.</p><p><em>Oh.</em> Akaashi thought. <em>This is unexpected.</em></p><p>Bokuto would easily qualify for the heart transplant if it were not for the fact his blood type was hard to come by. To find an organ that would meet the qualifications (to not only be the same blood type but to also be nearby and to be of a healthy person) in the short time Bokuto had left was a chance the doctors said were near to none. </p><p><em>But…</em> Akaashi reread the email to confirm his thoughts. <em>Akaashi seemed to be a blood type match.</em></p><p>Very unexpected. </p><p>Akaashi checked his other notifications: concerned messages from Kaori and Yukie who said if he needed to vent then their ears and hearts were open, an image of a sunset with an inspirational quote Washio deemed appropriate, a link to an article on ‘Dealing with Grief’ from Komi, and a short text from Kenma saying he can help pay any fees for Bokuto’s treatment. </p><p>Akaashi appreciated his friends. The reminder that people cared enough to check up on him was still sweet, even if the part of him that was growing more and more bitter everyday wanted to scoff. But there still stood the fact that despite their efforts, there was nothing they could do to save Bokuto from dying.</p><p>There was nothing <em>they</em> could do to save Bokuto from dying, but…</p><p>Akaashi read the email over again, and then began calling Konoha.</p><p>“Hey, Akaashi? Tell Kuroo I’m sorry, and I’m leaving right now. This thing came up, and-”</p><p>“Oh, it’s fine. I was calling you to tell you that Kuroo offered to drive me home anyway.”</p><p>“Really? I thought his tire blew out last week…”</p><p>“Kenma and Yaku-san forced him to fix it recently.”</p><p>“Oh. Okay. Are you sure…?”</p><p>“Yes. Thank you.”</p><p>“Okay… Uh, tell Kuroo to call me-”</p><p>Akaashi hung up. The new Akaashi was not only pessimistic it seemed, but gradually becoming rude. </p><p>Staring at his glass, Akaashi begin to think. He didn’t have much to drink tonight (after the first few nights of never leaving Bokuto’s bedside, when he finally did leave the hospital, his first instinct was to get extremely wasted. Now he was only allowed to nurse a single drink whenever he went out.) </p><p>He didn’t even finish his drink, so really, he was completely fine. Sober and well. And the hospital-- it was incredibly nearby. It wouldn’t take very long for a body to be transported, right?</p><p>“Excuse me, sir?” Akaashi waved the bartender down. “Do you have a piece of paper, or perhaps a napkin, I could borrow? And a pen, as well?”</p><p>The bartender nodded and came back with said items: a scrappy piece of paper the size of his palm, and a black pen with dents and scratches engraved to the plastic.</p><p>“Thank you very much, sir.”</p><p>Bokuto was a star. Now, Akaashi had already been over that, but it’s necessary to do so again.</p><p>Bokuto was a star. Not just any, ordinary star, but he was one of the brightest out there. He had to be part of dozens of constellations-- dozens of stories about a man who made the world brighter for mothers to tell to their children. Bokuto was just like that. He was always otherworldly, always so grand and magnificent.</p><p>Bokuto was a star, and Akaashi was just a kid with a telescope. </p><p>
  <em>Dear, Bokuto</em>
</p><p>When a star explodes, the universe shifts and accommodates for such a drastic change. But when a mere mortal dies-- there is no grand shift or alteration or change. There just simply is. </p><p>
  <em>I love you.</em>
</p><p>And when the kid with a telescope dies? Someone else could surely pick his telescope up for him.</p><p>
  <em>And I hope you can forgive me for this.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>